The Puppy or the Idiot

For over a month now I have been working hard to try and train our new puppy, and for over a month now my progress has been minimal at best. I have never trained a puppy from scratch before, so I really have no basis to compare anything that I do with, but I have this strange feeling that I am being sabotaged the entire way. No, not by my Mom, for she actually supports me when I come to a decision on what we should train her to do. Instead, it is by our household idiot, my Dad.

I am trying to come up with a nice way to put this, but I honestly feel like he is sabotaging all my hard work every time he talks to her and pets her and feeds her. Seriously, it has been about a month and a half and the dog still does not know to come when called, does not know to not go to the bathroom in the house, and does not know some of the simplest commands. And all of this is because my Dad will not get on board and stop pampering her. Fact is he keeps acting like this is a child that he can buy the love out of, giving her treats when she is being bad or playing games we have told him that are off limits. So she does not learn because she is getting a mixed message and all that is really happening is the dog thinks I am a mean person. To say the least, that really pisses me off when I am trying to train this dog to be something amazing and not just another mutt.

It comes down to this, we have told my Dad to get with the program and to stop doing all the dumb things he does that are not helping her learn. For instance, while trying to train her that it was good that she went to the bathroom outside he forgot to bring out some treats. So after the task was done and several minutes later when she was back inside, he gave her a treat and rewarded her. "Are you freaking stupid?" were the first words out of my mouth when I saw him do this. She is a dog, not a human, and she thinks you are rewarding her for no reason because she did not recently do the task that you wanted her to do. Good job, but all you have done is undermined the value of each treat because she thinks they are something she deserves and does not have to earn.

Here is another classical example of him being a total idiot when it comes to training, I told him we need to start crate training her and that means on a daily basis she goes to the bathroom outside, drinks water, and then we throw her in the crate for a few hours. He says back to me when I tell him the plan, "But I don't understand, she is in the crate all night." Okay, yes we put her in the crate at night so she does not go crazy on all the furniture while we are trying to sleep, but then she falls asleep and does not learn that she needs to go to the bathroom outside and that the crate is her home. When you crate train a dog during the day it does something more than when you throw them in the crate at night. The day training teaches them that her home (crate) is a place not to go to the bathroom and the same goes with your home. It also teaches them where going to the bathroom is okay to go while giving you a break from having to watch the puppy every minute of every hour of the day. Again, you freaking idiot, just get with the program and start doing it instead of undermining my authority and making me seem like a mean owner.

The Problem Puppy

And just for reference, our new puppy is half australian shepherd and half border collie mix, both of which are known to be extremely smart, natural herding dogs. They are also both known to test their boundaries time and time again to see what they can get away with, and if you have one idiot out of line that does not keep them in shape, they think that whatever they do is okay. I like to call this effect the velociraptor mentality, which is a reference to Jurassic Park when they discuss how the velociraptors will check the fence for weak spots to escape through. Anyway, in other words, these dogs are really smart, really difficult to train, and impossible to deal with when someone will not follow the set rules.

So now I have an option, I can either train the dog or train my Dad. I do not have time for both, especially since the only other person who seems to want to take time to watch the puppy is my Dad and he is the incompetent fool that is causing more problems than helping mend by watching the puppy. I wish there was a book called common sense, because then I could at least beat my Dad with it to see if the sense goes in. Seriously, this is your pet and not your friend, so stop acting like you are going to hurt her feelings and start acting like you are the master. Maybe then we will get a puppy that comes on command.